10/02/2026
The Training You Didn't Know You Got.
My new book, The Problem with Being a Good Patient, is about something most people don't realize until it's too late:
You didn't just walk into a doctor's office one day. You arrived there already trained.
For years, maybe your whole life, you learned to be 'good.'
Compliant. Quiet. Don't take up space. Don't ask too many questions. Trust the authority in the room more than yourself.
You weren't taught this explicitly. But you learned it anyway.
Through small moments: Being praised for being 'mature' when you didn't challenge authority. Watching what happens when people speak up — they get labeled difficult. Learning that your needs matter less than others' comfort.
By adulthood, this isn't a choice anymore. It's just how you show up.
And then you get sick. Something feels wrong. You walk into a doctor's office carrying all that training with you.
You don't need a dismissive doctor to gaslight you. You've already learned to do it to yourself.
You minimize your symptoms. You apologize for taking up time. You doubt what your body is telling you. And when labs come back 'normal,' you accept it. Even though you don't feel normal.
That's not weakness. That's a system working exactly as designed with your cooperation, because you were trained to cooperate.
This book is about recognizing that training. Understanding it's not who you are — it's what you were taught. And then choosing to behave differently, because you know better.
The Problem with Being a Good Patient launches March 2, 2027. You can pre-order now www.drefratlamandre.com/goodpatientbook
Do you see this pattern in your own story? Comment below.
