Monica Houttuin LCSW / Relationship Counseling Services

Monica Houttuin LCSW / Relationship Counseling Services Stuck in a rut couples and hurting hearts heal and ReKindle Intimacy with Speciality Couples Counsel Either

Monica Houttuin, LCSW has a specialty in sexual health education and therapy helping couples adjust and reconnect.

08/25/2026

"We've tried everything." A couple of date nights. An article, highlighted in yellow, handed over with no real explanation. An Instagram post texted straight to your partner's phone with "we need to do this." Then, eventually, you both stop bringing it up. Here's what I want you to hear: that's not you doing nothing. That's a lot of energy, spent on the wrong things. Trying something once, and shelving it when it doesn't fix everything overnight, isn't the same as trying it. Real change asks you to work at something together, long enough for it to stick. This week's blog has the actual list, the stuff that works when you do it on purpose, not just once.
💛 Link: https://crcmo.com/youve-tried-everything-but-nothing-works/

08/07/2026

An affair can change everything in a relationship.

Trust feels different.
Conversations feel different.
Even the quiet moments can feel loaded.

And if you're the partner who was betrayed, you may find yourself asking questions you never imagined you'd have to ask:

Can I ever trust them again?
Can we actually come back from this?
Do I even know what I want anymore?

If you're the partner who had the affair, you may be struggling with guilt, shame, or not knowing how to help your partner feel safe again.

Here's the thing: affair recovery isn't about pretending it didn't happen. It's about understanding what happened, taking responsibility, rebuilding trust, and figuring out whether—and how—you can create something healthier together.

Recovery takes time. There will probably be good days, hard days, and days when you wonder if you're making any progress at all. That's normal.

You don't have to have the entire future figured out today.

I've written several blogs about affair recovery to help couples understand what they're experiencing and what healing can look like.

If you're navigating the aftermath of an affair, take a look at my affair recovery blogs. You may find you're not as alone in this as you feel.

💕 Read the Affair Recovery Blogs → https://crcmo.com/why-should-you-stay-pains-of-an-affair-afflicted-heart-2/

08/03/2026

"I miss my partner.....and they're sitting right next to me."
One client said that to me years ago, and I've never forgotten it.
You can share a home.
Share responsibilities.
Even share a bed.
And still feel incredibly alone.
Emotional distance doesn't usually happen overnight.
It happens one small moment at a time.
The good news?
Connection is often rebuilt the very same way.
One honest question.
One repaired hurt.
One small step toward each other.
If your relationship has started feeling more distant than connected, I hope this week's blog offers a little hope.
💙 Read it here: https://crcmo.com/why-does-my-partner-feel-so-distant/

07/31/2026

Sometimes emotional distance doesn't look dramatic.
It looks like conversations about groceries.
Schedules.
Kids.
Who's taking the dog outside.
And somewhere along the way...
You realize you haven't really talked in weeks.
One of the biggest misconceptions I hear is that emotional distance means love has disappeared.
Most of the time?
It doesn't.
More often, someone has quietly stopped reaching because it no longer feels safe to keep trying.
The encouraging news is that connection can often be rebuilt one small conversation at a time.
If you've been wondering why your partner feels so distant, this week's blog is for you.
Read it here: https://crcmo.com/why-does-my-partner-feel-so-distant/

07/21/2026

Different topic.
Same argument.
Sound familiar?
Many couples assume they're arguing about chores, money, parenting, or intimacy.
More often, those conversations are really about feeling heard, understood, and emotionally connected.
When we slow down long enough to understand what's underneath the disagreement, real change becomes possible.
My newest blog explores why couples get stuck repeating the same fights—and how asking better questions can lead to healthier conversations.
Read it here: https://crcmo.com/how-do-we-stop-having-the-same-fight/

07/17/2026

"We feel more like roommates."
It's one of the most common concerns I hear from couples.
The surprising part?
Most relationships don't arrive there overnight.
Connection slowly gets replaced by responsibilities until two people who genuinely love each other begin living side by side instead of truly sharing life together.
The encouraging news is that reconnecting often starts with small, intentional moments—not grand romantic gestures.
Read this week's blog to learn how to recognize roommate syndrome and begin moving back toward one another.
🔗 https://crcmo.com/when-your-relationship-feels-like-roommates/

07/15/2026

Have you become roommates instead of partners?
Most couples don't drift apart because they stop loving each other.
They drift because life gets busy.
Work. Kids. Laundry. Aging parents. Endless to-do lists. Before long, your conversations sound more like staff meetings than opportunities to connect.
The good news? Feeling disconnected doesn't have to become your new normal.
In this week's blog, I share why roommate syndrome develops, why it's rarely just about s*x, and what couples can do to begin reconnecting emotionally.
Read the full blog here: https://crcmo.com/when-your-relationship-feels-like-roommates/

07/13/2026

When couples come to see me, they rarely say, "We fight all the time."
More often they say,
"I don't know what happened...we just don't feel close anymore."
Relationships usually don't fall apart overnight. They slowly drift as work, stress, parenting, and everyday responsibilities replace meaningful connection.
That's why I encourage couples to focus less on fixing every disagreement and more on rebuilding emotional safety.
A genuine smile.
A six-second hug.
Putting your phone down.
Asking, "How are you really doing?"
Those little moments matter more than you might think.
If you've been feeling disconnected, my newest blog, Why Do I Feel Lonely in My Marriage?, offers practical encouragement and simple ways to start reconnecting. https://crcmo.com/why-do-i-feel-lonely-in-my-marriage/
You don't have to stay stuck in loneliness. Connection can be rebuilt.






07/09/2026

Have you ever felt lonely...while sitting right next to your spouse?
If so, you're not alone.
One of the biggest myths about marriage is that simply being together prevents loneliness. In reality, emotional connection—not a marriage certificate—is what helps us feel close.
The good news is that loneliness doesn't automatically mean your relationship is broken. More often, it's a signal that life has gotten loud and your relationship needs a little more attention.
In my newest blog, I share why emotional distance happens, how to recognize the warning signs, and simple ways to begin reconnecting before loneliness becomes your new normal.
Sometimes the smallest moments create the biggest changes.
Read the blog and start taking those small steps back toward each other today. https://crcmo.com/why-do-i-feel-lonely-in-my-marriage/






06/26/2026

Does everything your partner does seem to bother you lately?
Before deciding your relationship is broken, ask a different question:
“What is underneath my irritation?”
Sometimes anger and frustration are covering something else:
“I miss feeling close to you.”
“I don’t feel understood.”
“I’m overwhelmed and need support.”
“I’m carrying hurt we haven’t addressed.”
Strong relationships are not built by never getting frustrated.
They are built by learning how to repair, reconnect, and understand each other when things feel difficult.
If irritation has been replacing connection, it may be time to look deeper.
Read: Why Am I So Irritable With My Partner? https://crcmo.com/why-am-i-so-irritable-with-my-partner/

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