Just Amber

10/03/2026

What does your Saturday look like? I’ve been straining off my elderberry elixir and bottling it all morning. Just in time for the turning weather. 🩵

10/01/2026

I miss Erstwhile.
I miss who I was when I was there.
I miss long in depth gut wrenching conversations, where time didn't exist but parking tickets did.
I miss answering questions and helping people find what they needed, not just what was pretty.
I miss making perfect strangers feel seen and valid.
I miss watching someone scour the shelves just to find the perfect crystal they didn't even know they were looking for.
I miss helping the customers who felt lost and out of their depth in my shop.
I miss watching parents show up for their kids, even when my shop felt scary to them.
I miss sitting in the booth on the quiet days, watching people and cars pass by.
I miss thinking of new products, events and classes that were uniquely Erstwhile.
I miss the smell of sweet grass and incense when you first walked through the doors.
I miss telling my stories to anyone that would listen.
I miss encouraging people to find their joy.
I miss looking forward to getting to see my friends.
I miss the nights when I'd stay late, play my music too loud, and sing at the top of my lungs. The acoustics in the back were the best.
I miss having movie nights with my niece and my friends.
I miss hearing someone's story when they were at their lowest and giving them the stone I knew they needed at no charge because it felt wrong to profit off of grief and pain.
I miss keeping special crystals in the back that I only pulled out when I felt called to for a very special person.
I even miss hearing the sirens and knowing whether it was a firetruck, ambulance, or police car and sending healing and positive energy as they drove by.
I miss hearing people complain about the parking but knowing that they went out of their way to get to me.
I miss welcoming visitors from all over the world and watching them fall in love with my little store.
I miss fixing bracelets and making new ones.
I miss laughing and knowing I was right where I belonged.
I miss the future I thought I'd have. The one where I bought my own building some day where I could live above the store so I never had to leave. The future where I didn't retire until I was old and gray and people still sought me out for help when they had no one else.
I miss building my legacy, feeling like I made a difference, and the version of myself I was working towards.
I miss feeling like I had purpose, like I mattered.

Erstwhile wasn't just a hobby for me. Knowing that it wasn't working and that it was time to move on, doesn't mean that I don't miss what it was or could have been.

It's been two months and I've made exactly zero progress on my house. I've made no decisions about what comes next. I've decided to go get a job and pay off my debt as soon as possible so I can have some breathing room to figure out the rest. I don't know much of anything anymore.

I know that miss Erstwhile every day and I don't really know who I am without it. I don't know who this version of me is. I feel lost and I'm trying really hard to find my way back.

I feel so many things right now. The biggest feeling being that I'm so angry. I'm angry over the people I've lost in the process of closing. I'm angry and disconnected from my spiritual path. I'm angry that I don't feel good about doing reiki or readings. I haven't unpacked any of my product. I don't even want to talk about anything remotely spiritual, cosmic, religious, or synchronistic. I feel, betrayed and like I'm not sure what it was all for.

I do know that I miss all of you and I still love you all very much.
-A

09/29/2026

I wish for all of us to get to the root cause of why we don't always see value in ourselves. Why loving ourselves always feels so damn hard. You're worth the effort it takes to love yourself.

Let me know if these posts are reaching you. If you find them helpful or if you think I should pivot in another direction.

09/29/2026

Do y’all remember when we had the body positivity stickers at Erstwhile? Well the gal behind Whimsy Wares is one and the same. Shes getting ready to launch some new ones! I’m so excited!!! 🤩

About to start a new round of stickers

09/26/2026

I got 10 beautiful responses. Thank you to everyone that took the time to share their experiences with me. 🩵

I need to ask you guys for something.

I've been struggling with how to process the end of Erstwhile and what these last seven years meant.

When you're the person who built something, it's really easy to look back and see all the things you could have done differently. The mistakes. The things that didn't work. The ways you fell short. And when that thing ends, it's even easier to convince yourself that maybe none of it mattered as much as you thought it did.

But I know Erstwhile mattered to people.

I know because you've told me over the years. You've told me that you felt safe there. That you found community there. That you learned something about yourself there. That you met people there. That you walked through those doors during some of the hardest parts of your life and found something you needed.

Right now, I think I need help remembering that.

So I made an anonymous form where you can tell me what Erstwhile meant to you. Maybe it was something huge. Maybe it was a cup of coffee and a conversation on a day you really needed one. Maybe it was a class, a reading, an event, a friendship, a crystal, or simply having a place where you felt like you could be yourself.

Whatever it was, I want to hear it.

Part of this is for me. I won't pretend it isn't. I'm trying to figure out who I am after Erstwhile, and I think hearing the stories of the people who were part of it might help me remember that just because it's over doesn't mean it didn't matter.

But I'm also trying to preserve what we built. Someday, some of these stories may become part of something larger I'm writing about Erstwhile, the people I met, the community we created, and everything those years taught me. The form gives you the option to tell me whether you're comfortable with your story potentially being shared or used in the future.

If Erstwhile made a difference in your life, however small, will you tell me?

Help me remember what we built.

Form Link:
https://www.erstwhilestudios.com/

09/25/2026

SOLD PPU

Posting here incase I know someone that may be interested. My sister has this vintage stand that she’s looking to sell. The very top (circled in red) is broken and needs mended. I’ll try to take some better pictures when I go back to her house. But it’s a beautiful piece. If I had room for it I would take it but I just don’t.

Glass and mirror are fully intact.
All drawers and doors are functional.
Comes with the original key.

Located in Dakota City
Asking $150 OBO Cash Only
You must be able to load and haul.
There are 4 cement stairs leading to her front door, but it is located on the main floor.

09/24/2026

I make one thing REALLY well. And when I do, almost the entire family gets this message. I’ve made as few as 3 whole pies and as many as 12 at one time. This will be my 14th year of being the Chicken Pot Pie Queen. 👸🥧

09/22/2026

This is the last journal prompt for this month. I want you to really think about the things you can't change. Why are you holding onto them? How can you begin to let them go? How are they helping or hurting you by holding onto them? A deeper level would be to consider the damage those thoughts have already done and will continue to do if you don't let them go.

Feel free to journal it out, discuss with friends, reply in the comments, or just think about it for the week. This isn't homework. There's no grade. It's completely optional.