08/27/2026
Diary Of A Massage Therapist:
This is a hard subject to talk about simply because grief comes in many stages. The impact that someone has on your life may be super Small - Great in range. For me with Dolly the simple act of kindness in the form of my child receiving her 1st US postal mail and her 1st books from Dolly will never leave my heart.
When one of my clients passes away it hits hard! No one knows the countless hours I’ve spent with them and the conversations we have had. People that allow me to see who they are. I get to see the joys in their lives, the pain, the sickness, injuries, their struggles, their losses and celebrate their victories. Many times I get to work with their spouses and I get to see their love and devotion to each other. Sometimes they send 5 generations of family to me to care for and I get to see how they all pitch in to help one another. I simply sit in respect. I also get to hear the stories of suffering of all natures. Or the either slow or fast decline of illness that no one saw coming. I get to be their cheerleader in their recovery from all sorts of things. And being a small “drop of medicine” when the painful truth is that there is no “real” medicine for them to turn things around. Sometimes I am their only place for safe touch and a safe space for them to let it all out. Even if it’s just in tears and not words. A safe place for their nervous system to start to remember they can be safe too. Sometimes I joke and say I am the bartender, the hairstylist and the therapist all rolled up into one visit. Because I listen, they feel safe enough to just Be in a healing space for that short time frame. When those people pass away I mourn! I mourn for the loss of them and for their loved ones now living without them. I mourn because even though I have a professional relationship they still have a special place in my heart. As a person that functions mostly in empathy and working in a profession that requires me to feel what others feel be it by observing, kinesthetic touch, or simply listening there isn’t enough shielding in the world to keep me from not grieving when I too loose people that I may have worked with for 1,5,10,15,20 years. I think I would have to be a robot to not have emotions around death & loss.
Today, I am not ok, the stages of grief apply to massage therapist too! I am grateful for the time spent with all of you even if it’s a no talk session (you need that too). Being silent with someone is powerful! If I’ve only seen you once and it’s been 10 years since I saw you last you still matter to me! That’s how I roll!
~ Donna
