09/04/2026
“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion that I need.“ – Kristen Neff. It’s not about excusing what happened. It’s about naming it accurately instead of skipping straight to shaming yourself.
Self criticism and self compassion aren’t just a mood difference – they engage different systems. Self criticism activates the same threat response your brain uses for actual danger, which narrows focus to self protection.
Self compassion, however, engages what compassion focus therapy researchers call the soothing system, which lets you think clearly enough to learn from what happened.
Being harder on yourself isn’t extra diligence. It’s a brain state that doesn’t help you improve.