04/03/2026
I had a beloved elder who would often say, "As you grow, people, places, and things, will fall away."
At the time of her teaching, I thought, "I get it, the outer circle around me will change. That is part of life."
Gosh, was I naive.
I could never have conceived that this statement would actually mean the people closest to me. I just automatically assumed this pearl of wisdom meant acquaintences, my outer circle, and people I hardly knew.
To be honest, I had a hard time digesting this teaching; it felt judgemental, entitled, or privliged in some way. I felt like it could have meant that if some people were growing and others were not then they were "enlightened" in some way.
This is not what it means at all.
It means that trajectories in life vary and we are all following various paths of destiny. Sometimes these path cross and sometimes they do not. When they do not anymore, then they simply don't.
The complication comes when the peeling apart of paths or the unwinding of trajectories is done with stonewalling, ghosting, gaslighting, weaponizing of emotions, or various other techniques that are used to justify harmful behavior as "self-preservation."
These circumstances make the teaching of my elder even more poignant: the composting of relationships that were based in self-absorption have a life span, and that life span will come to an end the moment you make choices that align with your growth, destiny, and path from a place of wholeness rather than wounding.
Her words still ring true, the lesson more powerful then ever.
Ase Ann, you are missed.
