01/28/2026
Q I've gotten from friends:
"I’m afraid that if I do this kind of work (Coaching / Retreats) - it can ruin my marriage if my other half isn’t doing the work too…"
That’s a valid Concern, and efforting to have your best life, best relationship, best partner is a multi-faceted equation, first starting with effort and intention...
I can tell you from observation that there is more of a chance of “Relationship Disturbance or Sabotage” from people who “read some stuff”, get self help doses of podcasts and card readings, learn catch phrases like “gaslighting” or “my truth” – but never go any deeper into the wounds…. These people I call Dabblers.
Whether its a card reading that says "Theres a problem" or you're begrudgingly working hard to "Let Them"... Dabbling may help you make sense and bring awareness at first... but as you go on, Your mind starts to notice, rationalize, judge, compare the relationship to “what you know you should deserve”. It makes sense…. HOWEVER, if you’re “talking and complaining” but not doing the work on the inside releasing and transmuting the Internal bio-circuitry through trauma or energetic release, you will keep attracting the same type of behavior, react the same way, push the same buttons (AUTOMATICALLY, out of your control). It's like a repeat button of previous arguments, power struggles, patterns... It's purpose is to SHOW YOU WHAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED AND HEALED, but you can see it as "more evidence that we're not on the same page.
There becomes a split between 1. What you’re experiencing, and 2. What you know you need and Deserve…. This creates the divisiveness internally, leading to the macro feeling of divisiveness of what can lead to split up partnerships.
HOWEVER… If you become a DIVER, and dive into illuminating the Shadows and programming that have attracted and created the pain cycles between you two, You TRANSFORM from the INSIDE OUT, and put out NEW SIGNALS to your partner. You begin to expect differently from them, because you are EXPECTING BETTER FROM YOURSELF and treating YOURSELF BETTER. What you see in others around you is a reflection of what you have inside yourself.
You soon become a tuning fork that changes the tone of the room, tone of the conversation, tone of the marriage, and allows for open communication. Less reactions and more conscious choices, and absolutely better boundaries, deeper connection and compassion.
One person doing the real work can help your partners, kids and parents.
So I encourage to Dive into Presence and make the commitment of healing yourself, for the sake of others.
If this resonates, stay tuned- I'll be announcing soon my live in-person Healing Retreat in Carlsbad, CA (March 13-15)—Public Launching Feb 1—or reach out now to explore working together 1-on-1. With love, Dominic (written by human hand)
