Ecclesia Young Adult Counselling

01/11/2025

HANDLING AND MANAGING GRIEF (5 of 5)

As we go into the last 2 months of 2025, many of us are faced with this year being a difficult one, we are also having to come to terms with loss, whether it is loved ones, pets, jobs, homes, cars, even belongings.

They are all forms of losing something, and can make us go through some form of grieving.

According to Kübler-Ross' model of the five stages of grief, those experiencing sudden changes in loss following an abrupt realization, go through five emotions:
denial,
anger,
bargaining,
depression,
acceptance.
They sometimes don't manifest in the same order, but one needs to completely navigate each one before the others can be started.

Each day this week, we will discuss each stage....

The fifth stage is Acceptance.

"It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it; I may as well accept it."

In this last stage, individuals embrace the future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event.

People typically come with a calm, retrospective view for the individual that has passed, and a stable condition of emotions.

Kübler-Ross identified additional stages of emotional response beyond theae five widely recognized stages of grief, illustrated in a full-page graphic on page 251 of the 50th anniversary edition of On Death and Dying.

Alongside the well-known stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, Kübler-Ross detailed other "stages" such as shock, partial denial, preparatory grief (also known as anticipatory grief), hope, and decathexis, which refers to the process of withdrawing emotional investment from external objects or relationships.

She also acknowledged other emotional responses including guilt, anxiety, and numbness.

30/10/2025

HANDLING AND MANAGING GRIEF (4 of 5)

As we go into the last 2 months of 2025, many of us are faced with this year being a difficult one, we are also having to come to terms with loss, whether it is loved ones, pets, jobs, homes, cars, even belongings.

They are all forms of losing something, and can make us go through some form of grieving.

According to Kübler-Ross' model of the five stages of grief, those experiencing sudden changes in loss following an abrupt realization, go through five emotions:
denial,
anger,
bargaining,
depression,
acceptance.
They sometimes don't manifest in the same order, but one needs to completely navigate each one before the others can be started.

Each day this week, we will discuss each stage....

The fourth stage is Bargaining.

"I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I miss my loved one; why go on?"

During the fourth stage, the individual despairs at the recognition of their loss.

In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.

The best thing to do is to surround oneself with friends and family and share fun anecdotes and stories.

29/10/2025

HANDLING AND MANAGING GRIEF (3 of 5)

As we go into the last 2 months of 2025, many of us are faced with this year being a difficult one, we are also having to come to terms with loss, whether it is loved ones, pets, jobs, homes, cars, even belongings.

They are all forms of losing something, and can make us go through some form of grieving.

According to Kübler-Ross' model of the five stages of grief, those experiencing sudden changes in loss following an abrupt realization, go through five emotions:
denial,
anger,
bargaining,
depression,
acceptance.
They sometimes don't manifest in the same order, but one needs to completely navigate each one before the others can be started.

Each day this week, we will discuss each stage....

Bargaining – The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief.

Usually, the negotiation is with God for a delay in their experiencing the grief. Some even go as to promise to be better in an area of their life in exchange for the feeling that they are experiencing.

It's characterized by "what if" and "if only" thoughts, attempts to regain control, and a sense of helplessness.

This stage usuallt follows denial and anger and is a transitional phase that occurs before moving toward acceptance.

People facing less serious trauma can sometimes bargain or seek a compromise with God.

A perfect example would be a phrase such as "If I could trade their life for mine".

28/10/2025

HANDLING AND MANAGING GRIEF (2 of 5)

As we go into the last 2 months of 2025, many of us are faced with this year being a difficult one, we are also having to come to terms with loss, whether it is loved ones, pets, jobs, homes, cars, even belongings.

They are all forms of losing something, and can make us go through some form of grieving.

According to Kübler-Ross' model of the five stages of grief, those experiencing sudden changes in loss following an abrupt realization, go through five emotions:
denial,
anger,
bargaining,
depression,
acceptance.
They sometimes don't manifest in the same order, but one needs to completely navigate each one before the others can be started.

Each day this week, we will discuss each stage....

Anger – in this stage, when you recognize that denial cannot continue, you become frustrated, especially at those close to you.

Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who is to blame?"; "Why would this happen?".

Some people may lash out at loved ones, medical staff, and other family members. It is normal.

In Kübler-Ross's other book, Questions and Answers on Death and Dying, she emphasizes the need for those people around, to do their best to let those who are in this stage, to be allowed to feel their feelings and try not to take the anger lashings personally.

Those going through this stage, need to find a way to let their anger out, by doing some form of physical activity, sport or gym. It helps allow the adrenaline out and relieve some of the emotion.

27/10/2025

HANDLING AND MANAGING GRIEF (1 of 5)

As we go into the last 2 months of 2025, many of us are faced with this year being a difficult one, we are also having to come to terms with loss, whether it is loved ones, pets, jobs, homes, cars, even belongings.
They are all forms of losing something, and can make us go through some form of grieving.

According to Kübler-Ross' model of the five stages of grief, those experiencing sudden changes in loss following an abrupt realization, go through five emotions:
denial,
anger,
bargaining,
depression,
acceptance.
They sometimes don't manifest in the same order, but one needs to completely navigate each one before the others can be started.

Each day this week, we will discuss each stage....starting with Denial.

Denial – in this stage, individuals believe the precipitating event is somehow mistaken, and cling to a false, preferable reality.
Some may isolate themselves, avoiding others who may have accepted what is happening.
This stage is usually a temporary defense, so long as the person has adequate time to move amongst the stages as they contemplate the loss.

You need to allow yourself the time to process the trauma that you feel, taking as long as you need. For some it is a few weeks, for others it can be years.

Find someone with whom you can share your feelings, cry with, laugh with, spend time with when you need.

Support groups are extremely helpful in navigating this stage, because you get to share with others going through a similar life experience.

24/09/2025

HAPPY HERITAGE DAY

28/05/2025

Moving from Brokenness to Wholeness should be everyone's life journey.
Easier said than done, you ask? Yes, indeed it is.

It is hard to face the truths and to break down the walls that have comforted and protected us from the hurt and pain that is caused by others.
Life happens and causes brokenness in all of us.

But through simple processes and steps one is able to move into the emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing that you were created to be and be able to fulfill your God-given purpose.

The "paraklete" is always here for you...

09/05/2025

Counselling is all about sharing your thoughts and feelings in a safe and confidential setting.
Talking about your issues, problems or concerns can help you feel less alone and allow you to make sense of what is happening in your life.
Ecclesia Young Adult Counselling can guide you in allowing you to make decisions in order to bring about your own positive change in your life, and mental wellbeing.

In sessions you decide on what you would like to focus and bring to the space.
Our role as a counsellor, is to listen and help you decide how you want to move forward.
If there is any pressing issues that are causing you daily mental anguish and upset, contact us via Whatsapp or email, and lets set up an appointment to discuss how we can guide you to wholeness.

08/04/2025

A prisoner was sentenced to death by hanging, but a group of scientists wanted to test the limits of human belief and the power of the mind. They told him that instead of a hanging, he would be killed by a venomous snakebite.

To make it more convincing, they showed him a large, terrifying cobra. The prisoner, filled with fear, was then blindfolded. Unbeknownst to him, the scientists used a sharp needle to prick his hand in the same spot where a snake's fangs would strike, simulating a snakebite.

As they watched from a distance, the prisoner, believing he was poisoned by the snake, began to feel the effects of venom coursing through his body.

Despite there being no actual venom, the man’s belief in the snakebite led to his rapid physical decline. Within minutes, the man collapsed and died.

This phenomenon, though shocking, is known as the placebo effect where belief and expectation can bring about real physical outcomes. It illustrates just how powerful the mind can be.

The mind can shape our reality, either for better or for worse. In this case, the prisoner’s belief in his fate was so strong that it caused his body to react as though the bite had truly occurred, even though it had not.

This story teaches us a crucial lesson: our thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions have a profound impact on our well-being. What we believe about ourselves and our lives can either uplift us or tear us down.

Therefore, it’s essential to maintain a positive outlook, as our minds have the potential to shape our realities. Never underestimate the power of your thoughts. Choose to believe in your strength and potential, for your mind can be your greatest ally in overcoming challenges.

~ Unknown Author

22/11/2024

Ernest Hemingway once said: In our darkest moments, we don’t need solutions or advice. What we yearn for is simply human connection—a quiet presence, a gentle touch. These small gestures are the anchors that hold us steady when life feels like too much.

Please don’t try to fix me. Don’t take on my pain or push away my shadows. Just sit beside me as I work through my own inner storms. Be the steady hand I can reach for as I find my way.

My pain is mine to carry, my battles mine to face. But your presence reminds me I’m not alone in this vast, sometimes frightening world. It’s a quiet reminder that I am worthy of love, even when I feel broken.

So, in those dark hours when I lose my way, will you just be here? Not as a rescuer, but as a companion. Hold my hand until the dawn arrives, helping me remember my strength.

Your silent support is the most precious gift you can give. It’s a love that helps me remember who I am, even when I forget.

03/10/2024

An open letter to those who are tired of being strong:

People believe you are strong. It’s because you face every challenge in silence. No one sees you break down, and you’ve learned how to hide your struggles from the world. You can still manage to laugh, as if nothing is wrong, but the truth is that your heart feels heavy. You are the one who gives advice, the one people turn to when they need comfort, even though you also need what you are giving.

They say you are strong. It’s because you never show signs of weakness. Even though you have a lot of problems, you remain calm. No one catches you lost in thought, overwhelmed by everything you are going through.

They say you are strong, but the truth is, no one ever asks if you are really okay. You also long for conversations wherein you can be vulnerable about your sadness and fears and not just about happiness and success. You want someone to see the sadness you hide behind your wide smiles and is willing to wait until you can finally accumulate enough courage to share.

They say you are strong, but the truth is, you are also scared and sad. Everything feels like crumbling, and you are afraid that even the last brick of hope you are holding onto will also fall apart. Sending hugs. I hope you’ll get through it.

-Franz Mherryon

23/09/2024

"If you carry a well of shame and unresolved trauma inside of you, no amount of money, no measure of success or celebrity can fill it.”

Demi Moore - from her book 'Inside Out'

The actress opened up to Harper’s Bazaar ahead of the release of her forthcoming book, "Inside Out," discussing past relationships, childhood trauma and her struggle with sobriety.