Shelley Hall

02/09/2026

With psychology—and many other professions—parents and students need to understand this: you do not simply choose the profession; at some point, you must also be selected.

A student may gain entry into an undergraduate degree, such as a Bachelor of Arts, and perhaps complete an Honours degree in Psychology. However, selection for the professional Master’s programme required to become a psychologist is highly competitive, with very few places available.

A student can work hard, achieve excellent results and appear well suited to the profession—and still not be selected. Waiting another year, gaining experience or volunteering in the field may strengthen a later application, but it cannot guarantee admission.

This does not mean that young people should not pursue ambitious goals. It means that goals sometimes require different routes—and occasionally need to change.
That can be deeply disappointing and daunting. Yet, unfortunately—or perhaps fortunately—it is part of how life works. Effort improves opportunity, but it does not guarantee every outcome.

These are important conversations to have before applications begin:
What is the preferred path?� What are the selection requirements? �How limited are the available places?� What is Plan B—and perhaps Plan C?� Could another route lead towards a similar purpose?

This may be especially important for a young person who has experienced years of protected, relatively smooth sailing. Encountering one of life’s harder knocks for the first time as a young adult can feel brutal.

They may still feel disappointed, angry or lost. We cannot take those feelings away, but we can stay alongside them, listen without rushing to fix everything and help them think about what comes next. Knowing that they are not facing disappointment alone may be one of the most important forms of support we can offer.

01/09/2026

I did not cry—or even feel particularly sad—when my eldest started Grade One or entered high school. I felt it a little more with my youngest, perhaps because each milestone reminded me that she was my last child. Yet the thought of my eldest leaving home brings tears to my eyes, even as I write this.

I wanted to be present while my daughters navigated growing up—to help them move towards adulthood and to share as much of these years with them as possible.
Now I am discovering that letting go is hard.

The sadness is fleeting because I am also genuinely excited to watch their lives continue to unfold. I know that leaving home will not mean my role as their mother has ended, but it will mean that the role must change.

This transition can bring grief, a changing sense of purpose or vulnerability to low mood for some parents. I do not want my difficulty letting go to become something my daughters must carry, or to make them feel guilty for growing towards independence.

So I am taking responsibility for my own adjustment—leaning on trusted colleagues and arranging BWRT® sessions for myself to help my brain adapt to the change ahead.

Feeling sad about the ending of this chapter is natural, but I do not need to become undone by it. I choose to care for myself so that I can enjoy the time they still have under our roof and, when the time comes, support them as they step into the world with excitement rather than the burden of managing my feelings.

Perhaps part of raising children is preparing them to leave us, while also preparing ourselves to let them go. What do you think?

01/09/2026

Juanita Carreira is an HPCSA registered counsellor working virtually in my practice. As my waiting lists tend to be long, it’s wonderful to have her seeing clients too and also using BrainWorking Recursive Therapy(BWRT). She’s able to see clients late afternoons and Saturdays too which I am not able to offer.

🌱

01/09/2026

It’s officially spring! Buy a bunch of blooms to celebrate. Picked and arranged last night, these beauties are ready and waiting at the coffee shop at Life Empangeni. From R50.

01/09/2026

If you’re struggling with grief, there’s a wonderful in person course starting. You don’t have to walk through grief alone. ❤️

Grief can feel overwhelming, lonely, and unpredictable. Whether you’ve lost a spouse, parent, child, family member, or close friend, GriefShare offers a place where you can find understanding, hope, and support. You may even be in a position of influence where using and knowing these skills will be invaluable.

Hosted by Solid Ground Church, Empangeni, this 10-week GriefShare course is a safe, welcoming community where people truly understand the emotions and challenges of grief.

Together, we’ll explore:

• What to expect in the days and weeks ahead

• What is “normal” in the grieving process

• Practical tools to help you cope

• Encouragement, hope, and healing at your own pace

You don’t have to have all the answers. Just come as you are.

❤️Everyone is welcome.

❤️R150 per workbook.

For more information or to register, please contact us.

Debbie Lane - 0836359822
or use the link below:

At our GriefShare group, you’ll find understanding, guidance, relief, and a safe place to navigate the challenges of grief. If you would like us to walk alongside you on your grief journey, please complete this form to register. Debbie Lane will contact you to confirm your spot and add you to the ...

31/08/2026

One day, my friend asked why I thought her daughter was less confident climbing and reluctant to use the slides. It suddenly dawned on me: she was always dressed to look beautiful, but her clothing did not allow her the freedom to play like a child. There was no intention to restrict or harm her. It was simply a consequence that had not been considered. I have seen different versions of this play out many times in practice.

Allowing convenience or a child’s immediate preferences to determine every meal may eventually affect nutrition and health. Fighting for what suits us in a co-parenting arrangement can make us lose sight of what the child needs. Wanting a child to follow a particular career or develop abilities that do not suit them can create distress and leave them feeling that who they are is not enough.

Our own mental-health difficulties, family pressures or health struggles may also result in a child’s needs being overlooked. Children can be helped to understand that families experience difficult times, but they should not be expected to carry adult burdens or continually set aside their own needs.

Parenting is not easy. Good intentions are important, but they do not automatically produce good outcomes.

Parenting requires us to keep checking in, reflecting and redirecting ourselves so that we remain focused on the actual child in front of us—not the child we imagined, the child who is easiest to manage or the child who best accommodates our circumstances.

It requires sacrifice, change and learning new skills. Sometimes it also requires acknowledging that we have got something wrong. When we can do something close to this—not perfectly, but thoughtfully—we are more likely to raise a child who feels seen, supported and free to become who they are. That makes the effort worthwhile.

30/08/2026

Imagine feeling driven by anxiety—or by an urge that will not settle until you complete one very specific action, such as performing three jumps with “perfect” landings.

You may know that the action is unnecessary. You may understand the facts and recognise that it is not logical. Yet intelligence, reassurance and reasoning do not necessarily quiet the urge.

This is something of what Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder can feel like.
OCD involves unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images or urges and/or repetitive behaviours or mental acts that a person feels compelled to perform. The compulsion may bring temporary relief, but this often reinforces the cycle, making the urge more likely to return.

BWRT®—BrainWorking Recursive Therapy—was developed by Terence Watts. His theoretical approach to working with OCD allows the practitioner to explore the individual pattern underlying a person’s symptoms and tailor the sessions to that person, rather than expecting the person to fit neatly into a standardised therapy model.

OCD is not simply liking order, being particular or repeating an occasional habit. Under the DSM-5-TR criteria, the obsessions or compulsions must be time-consuming—often taking more than an hour a day—or cause clinically significant distress or impairment. The term should not be used casually, and diagnosis requires a careful clinical assessment.

30/08/2026

Menopause is a natural stage of life, but that does not mean every experience of it is gradual—or easy.

Some breast-cancer treatments deliberately suppress ovarian functioning, while chemotherapy may disrupt it. This can produce an early or medically induced menopause. Depending on the woman’s age and treatment, it may be temporary or permanent—but even when medically planned, the change can feel sudden, intense and deeply unsettling. There is an enormous difference between the body moving towards menopause over time and being pushed into hormonal change suddenly.

One day you are coping with the shock of a cancer diagnosis. Then you may also find yourself facing hot flushes, disrupted sleep, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, fluctuating emotions, changes in sexual functioning and a body that suddenly feels unfamiliar. That is a significant physical and psychological adjustment. It should not be dismissed with: “Menopause happens to every woman.”

This change may arrive without warning or choice while you are already managing surgery, medication, uncertainty and fear. Some women also experience grief related to fertility, sexuality, ageing, identity or the loss of trust in their bodies.

Psychological support cannot reverse the hormonal effects of treatment or replace medical management. It can, however, provide a space to work with the shock, loss of control, emotional responses and altered relationship with the body.

Advanced BWRT Level 3 work may support the psychological and mind–body aspects of this adjustment. The work may help reduce threat-based responding, create a greater sense of internal steadiness and help the woman feel more actively involved in adapting to what her body is experiencing.

You do not have to minimise the impact simply because the treatment was medically necessary. If breast-cancer treatment has left you feeling as though your body changed overnight, you are welcome to contact my practice to explore possible psychological support.

29/08/2026

High school brings increasing busyness and change. I remember someone telling me that it passes even faster than junior school—and they were right. With two daughters in high school and my eldest already halfway through her second-last year, I can confirm that it whizzes by!

We are beginning to think about her possibly living independently. That picture can feel daunting, particularly when we have been privileged enough to manage most aspects of life for our children.

The difficulty comes when they are suddenly expected to manage independently, but have never paid for groceries with a bank card or made their own appointment.
Last year, parking was a problem, so I gave my daughter my wallet in case I did not reach the shop in time. I didn’t. She met me with the groceries, looking flustered.
The cashier had asked for a Smart Shopper card and suggested that she ask the person behind her. My daughter thought she was being told to use someone else’s bank card—as in their credit card!

I explained that the cashier was trying to help us receive the advertised discounts. Without the rewards card, we had paid more. Thankfully, she had only bought two bottles of Hellmann’s mayonnaise on an amazing store-reopening special…well, amazing for those who used their rewards card!

We still laugh about it, but it made me realise that I needed to do more to help her become ready for the world.

We can start with manageable opportunities:
• Use a bank card and banking app safely under supervision.
• Check a balance and work within a budget.
• Compare prices and understand store rewards.
• Make a telephone call and book an appointment.
• Plan and prepare a few basic meals.
• Do laundry and manage a weekly schedule.
• Organise transport and ask for help when unsure.

Independence does not suddenly arrive with a Matric certificate. It develops through practice.

Starting with small, manageable responsibilities now may mean less overwhelm and fewer costly mistakes later. It may also make those first months of enormous adjustment a little less stressful—and help our children enter them with greater confidence.

28/08/2026