The Counsellor

05/06/2026

Respect is applicable in all situations and to everyone, and you have the right to walk away in its absence.

04/06/2026

04/06/2026

Sleep is one of the best natural remedies to good mental health.

I few days ago I reposted an article I wrote on brain food. If you missed it, you can read it here https://www.facebook.com/share/p/16gVLraicq/

Today I want to talk about Plantain, Pineapple, Bananas, and Kiwi fruit and the magic they possess.

Pineapple, bananas, and kiwi all contain serotonin, a neurotransmitter that plays a role in mood regulation, sleep, and other bodily functions. Plantains contain the highest concentration of serotonin among these fruits.

Here's a breakdown

Plantain:
The highest serotonin concentration is approximately 30.3 micrograms per gram.

Pineapple:
Contains about 17.0 micrograms per gram.

Banana:
Approximately 15.0 micrograms per gram.

Kiwi:
Around 5.8 micrograms per gram.

In addition to serotonin, these fruits also contain

Tryptophan
An amino acid that the body uses to produce serotonin.

Bromelain (in pineapple)
An enzyme that may support serotonin synthesis and provide anti-inflammatory benefits.

Other nutrients
Bananas also contain vitamin B6, which helps synthesize neurotransmitters, and magnesium, which can help relax muscles.

So if you battle to sleep, eat two kiwis an hour before bed for a couple of days and you will have a deeper and longer sleep.

If you feel sluggish or just low on energy, bite into a banana or pineapple!

Fresh Fruit is Fabulous!

02/06/2026

Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all have off days.

Even mental health practitioners have challenging days. Hair stylists have bad hair days. Mechanics’ cars break down. Bakers have a flop.

Being human means sometimes getting things wrong, feeling tired, overwhelmed, or not quite like yourself. What matters is not perfection, it’s getting back up, showing yourself grace, and pushing through one step at a time.

You are doing better than you think. 🤍

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01/06/2026

You can only expect great things from great people.

31/05/2026

Do people tend to call you “Too Sensitive”?

Maybe you are just Clairsentient.
There is nothing wrong with being of a sensitive persuasion; it means you have a gentle and good heart.

Written by Dr. Lynne McCarthy ©️

Clairsentience means you feel things deeper than most. It is the ability to interpret things through clear feeling, which is in a sense a ‘psychic gift’ that is unknown to most people who possess it. Clairsentient people tend to be more emotionally in tune with themselves than others and often seem to feel their emotions more deeply than the average person.

You are generally able to understand how people feel and put yourself in their shoes with total ease; in fact, you do it without even trying because it just comes naturally to you.

You are also very in tune with your own emotions and have trouble putting them aside to do other things. When you are upset about something, you can’t simply ignore your negative emotions the way some others can compartmentalize.

Due to your emotionally invested nature in everyone else’s problems as and when they vent to you, or simply because you’re always so tuned into others’ feelings, you get exhausted easily. Naturally, that makes you a little pickier who you share your energy with; and your circle is most likely small. You might keep your circle of friends small, but you do tend to be able to get along with others easily since you’re great at identifying and matching other people’s energy.

The right movie at the right moment, can make anyone slip a tear, but you find that emotional scenes in movies tend to impact you more than others. You easily get emotionally invested in the characters, so on-screen drama affects you more.

Have you always felt like your emotions seem to sit heavier on you than they do for others? As if you had “more feelings” than other people or been more preoccupied with your feelings in comparison to your peers perhaps?

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Because you are so in-tune with emotions, when someone talks about something that’s bothering them in their day-to-day life, you tend to be able to identify the root of that negative emotion, often before even they can.

Things that other people might be able to brush off easily or pay little mind to have a strong emotional effect on you. Similarly, a small reminder of your past emotions could even make you relive such an emotion.

You rarely take what people say or do on the surface as the full story, but instead question what feelings might be motivating those things or if there is a deeper subtext to what they say. You over-analyze.

When there’s a complicated emotional situation going on, you tend to think of how every person involved is feeling rather than just your own point of view when thinking about what’s happening.

Do people characterize you as an old soul?

Do people often come to you for advice, even strangers?

My guess is that when you meet someone, you’re really good at reading their energy. Even if you don’t know someone well, you’re able to pick up on whether they’re insecure, genuine, emotionally unwell, etc. You’re good at telling early on whether people are genuine with their actions and words or if they’re putting on a front because they have a hidden agenda and want something.

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Because you feel your emotions as well as those of others so easily and deeply, it is easy to get overwhelmed by all the feelings you deal with on a regular basis and need to disconnect to rest. Since you feel your emotions so deeply, the highs tend to be very high, but, when things go south, you tend to be devastated by the negative feelings you have.

In your personal life, you work hard to help your friends and family through their problems and want to help them overcome emotional baggage. And in your professional life, you want your work to positively impact others.

You can easily pick up when people in the same room have tension between them even if you don’t have any background knowledge or context that would suggest that. You could tell two people you’ve never met before, are in a weird place without even thinking about it.

It’s not enough for you to feel things; you have to ruminate on them, consider different angles for why someone might feel a certain way, and analyze your own emotional state, past or present, on a regular basis.

Whilst being clairsentient makes you more in tune with how people’s underlying feelings may impact their words and actions, it can also be mentally taxing to feel everything so deeply. However, despite all the difficulties that come with it, clairsentience really is a gift.

Copyright ©️ The Counsellor

image - Amanda Oleander Art

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31/05/2026

DONT BE AFRAID OF BEING ALONE
But Rather Afraid of Being In A Bad Relationship

Written by Dr. Lynne McCarthy ©️

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Dating these days is hard as people are afraid of bad relationships.
Let’s face it – things are a lot different than they used to be.
Societal values have changed dramatically, and technology has revolutionized the dating scene (and not necessarily for the better).
Even worse, chivalry seems like it’s dead, but many modern women don’t mind since they feel more liberated than they did so many decades ago. That leaves men confused and women who like chivalry feeling like they’re missing out.
While all these modern-day changes may be good for humans’ advancement, it’s not necessarily the best for dating. You may have noticed this already, especially if you’re reading this article. People are confused when it comes to dating – they’re afraid of a lousy relationship, but they’re also afraid of being alone, so they settle for someone who doesn’t meet their standards. This results in lots of relationship problems.

WHAT KEEPS A PERSON IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP?

Many people stay in toxic relationships for various reasons. They think that being alone is worse, so they deal with unhappiness and/or abuse.

Here are three reasons people stay in bad relationships.

1. YOU THINK THERE IS NO ONE BETTER.

As mentioned before, dating is hard. Finding someone that is compatible is like looking for a needle in a haystack. It’s so difficult that it can feel like there are no good prospects out there. When you feel this way, it can be scary to give up a partner that you’ve already snagged off the market, even if the person is unhappy in the relationship.

Thoughts of everything you have been through can be stifling. You may feel like it’s impossible to find yet another partner to create memories with. It may seem like so much work to have to do it all over again.

The thought of going through the dating process all over again can seem tedious, especially if you already think there aren’t good prospects anyway. There is just no motivation to do better when you feel that there isn’t anyone better. You might give up on the idea of being in a happy relationship.

You must change this way of thinking if you’re ever going to be happy. It’s not easy, but you must believe that there is someone better out there.

The best way to meet someone better is to be better. Work on improving yourself, and you’ll ultimately run into someone better than your ex. Just remember, you need to leave the current lousy partner as soon as possible because you’ll never find that someone if you are stuck with the wrong one.

2. YOU FEEL THAT YOU DON’T DESERVE BETTER.

Perhaps you aren’t concerned that you can’t find someone better. It could be that you feel like you are unworthy of someone better. Feelings of not deserving better come from things that have happened in a person’s past that influences their outlook, or in-look.

Something in a person’s past makes them feel like they should be in a bad relationship. Another way to look at it is that something in their past also makes them afraid to be alone, so they stay with a lousy partner.

This isn’t uncommon. Everyone holds on to something from their past that makes them feel undeserving in some way. For some people, it manifests in the form of staying in a toxic relationship.

It can be hard to change this pattern, but the first step to change is to realize you need to change. For this to happen, it may take an outside influence to help you see the issues you are dealing with.

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3. YOU MAY BE FINANCIALLY DEPENDENT ON YOUR PARTNER.

When you get most or all your financial support from someone, it can be terrifying to even think about leaving. The world is expensive and getting pricier by the minute. Good intentions don’t pay bills.

It can be tough to strike out on your own when you have no money, support, or resources. In fact, it can be crippling, which is precisely why you would stay in a bad relationship. However, this doesn’t mean you are stuck. It just means you need to prepare to struggle a little bit, and you need to get creative.

There are programs out there that can help people coming out of abusive relationships. They won’t provide the best resources, but they will provide you with enough to get out of the relationship and get to stand on your own two feet. If you’re worried about handling life alone, you may be pleasantly surprised at how well you handle it when you give yourself a chance to.

HERE IS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T BE AFRAID TO BE ALONE.

Psychologists agree that being alone is better than being in a bad relationship. In fact, it might be rejuvenating for a person to focus on themselves. Here are some reasons you should embrace being alone.

YOU CAN FOCUS ON BUILDING YOURSELF UP.

Being in a lousy relationship can do a number on your self-esteem. Your confidence may have hit the floor, and you might be at the end of your rope. When you are single, it’s so much easier to get your self-esteem back. This is because you don’t have some lousy partner eating away at your self-love.
If it helps, don’t think of being single as being alone. Think of it as you are dating yourself. Get to know yourself. Find out what you like – what makes you tick. Take yourself on nice dates and buy yourself nice gifts. Make yourself happy. Fall in love with yourself.

When you love yourself, you won’t ever have to worry about being in a bad relationship again. Your self-esteem and self-worth will be so high that no one can bring it down.

YOU’LL HAVE ROOM IN YOUR LIFE FOR THE PARTNER OF YOUR DREAMS.

If you’re in a relationship, you aren’t going to be able to meet the right person for you. The right person will have too much respect for your relationship to deal with you. That’s exactly what you want – someone who respects boundaries.

Don’t miss your Mr. or Mrs. Right because you’re trying to hold on to someone who is obviously so wrong. It’s scary, but you must believe that there are good, worthy people out there that can make you happy. You also need to make sure that you’ve healed from dealing with the wrong person so that you don’t let those old feelings affect your new relationship.

YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT IT’S OKAY TO BE ALONE.

People seem to give the status of “alone” or “single” such a negative connotation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being attached. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be attached.
Society tends to make people think they should be dating by a certain age, married by a certain age, and have kids by a certain age. At one point in history, this may have been the norm, but now it’s not. People are more focused on themselves and their careers than ever before.

People are more interested in living life to the fullest before settling down, and that’s okay. If you take the time to fully focus on the things you want to do in life before you settle down, you won’t have any regrets later in life. You won’t feel trapped, and you won’t feel unfulfilled.
Don’t let anyone pressure you into believing something is wrong with you for wanting to be alone. Embrace all that being alone has to offer.

YOU’LL DISCOVER WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IN A PARTNER.

Being in a lousy relationship can sometimes cause you to have on blinders. You’ll be so consumed with emotions from dealing with your partner that you don’t have time to think about what you really want. Sure, you may wish that your partner did certain things or acted a certain way, but when you’re so emotionally invested in a situation like this, it can be hard to think clearly.

Being single allows you to focus on what you genuinely want in a relationship. The freedom you’ll have lets you truly get in touch with your feelings. You’ll have the added benefit of dating – even if it’s hard – and this can help you discover all the traits you don’t want in a partner.

FINAL THOUGHTS ON BEING ALONE INSTEAD OF IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP

Humans are naturally social creatures, so it’s no surprise that people really don’t want to be alone. However, being alone doesn’t mean you have to be alone forever. Being alone can be a period of enlightenment that helps you grow and become a better person.

One thing is for certain – you shouldn’t stay in a bad relationship out of fear of being alone. No one benefits from a lousy relationship, not even the person that’s making the relationship lousy. If you’re in this situation, the best thing you can do is embrace being alone so that you can have a bright and loving future with the right one. In the end, you’ll be glad you faced your fear.

Copyright ©️ The Counsellor

Image - Amanda Oleander Art

☎️ Need to chat? WhatsApp The Counsellor for an appointment, or subscribe to our content for quick advice —> https://g.co/kgs/VCjPjVY

30/05/2026

Here's the thing, meditation's effects on our mental health are all over the map, depending on the individual and the type of meditation practiced.

Some forms of meditation, like "Metta meditation" or "loving-kindness meditation," are specifically designed to cultivate positive feelings and actions toward oneself and others.

But, meditation can't work its magic if someone's just not feeling it.

While meditation can generally improve self-awareness and emotional regulation, the extent to which it leads to increased kindness may vary.

Metta meditation is all about cultivating feelings of kindness, compassion, and love towards oneself and others.

Meditation can help individuals become more mindful of their thoughts and feelings, leading to greater self-awareness and emotional regulation. However, the extent to which meditation impacts kindness can depend on individual factors, personality traits, and the specific meditation practice employed.

Some experts suggest that mindfulness meditation can be beneficial for observing and releasing mental patterns, including those related to negativity and unkindness.

External factors, like social environment and personal experiences, can also influence a person's level of kindness. While meditation, particularly Metta meditation, can be a valuable tool for cultivating kindness, it's not a one-size-fits-all solution. Individual factors, personality traits, and the specific meditation practice employed will all play a role in its effectiveness. ©️

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