02/06/2026
Early in my postpartum journey, it felt like the world had stolen my journal and was reading it out loud. It felt deeply uncomfortable. I found motherhood incredibly vulnerable.
I overthought every decision. I constantly second-guessed myself and doubted my instincts. It took me a while to find my confidence as a mom. To add to it all, I thought I would be a natural 😂, so I was a little thrown off.
Even while I was in it, I knew the universe was chiselling away at my inner perfectionist - that harsh, self-critical voice that had followed me for so much of my life. But awareness didn’t make it any easier. What did comfort me was the sense that if I stayed with what was there and engaged with it honestly, I would eventually reach the other side.
I had already met this part of myself during the final weeks of my pregnancy. I did a lot of work around it, and this word kept coming up: joy.
I had a feeling our baby was going to teach me about joy - and all the places where I block it. That is absolutely what she has done.
Not because motherhood is always joyful. Not at all.
But she has been an incredible mirror, reflecting back parts of myself I might never have seen so clearly otherwise.
Life is such a wild ride. It constantly invites us deeper into ourselves - to evolve, to soften, to grow in love and joy. As long as we are willing to stay with the discomfort that growth often requires.
I love the idea that when the mother is ready, the guru appears. I have so much reverence for my guru. 💛
