06/24/2026
I chose my teacher so I could be guided to my power.
And then I made sure I only let in so much.
I hired the support to find my power
And then it pi**ed me off when she believed in me.
I said yes to the journey to take it off
And then I rebelled to my own consent.
I stepped in to be seen and raw.
And then I found ways to make my nakedness a costume.
The addiction to being broken is what I am constantly laying on my altar
Giving it up over and over.
The roots run deep
– I have fed them for so long.
I’ve had beef with the Mother and the Father
Sky and Earth and Void and Bone
For placing me here.
And then leaving me here.
why the F**K would they leave me here?!
But I have danced with my Ancestors..
They are a rowdy Golden Bunch
And some of them are terrifying.
So I know, I know…
that my Rebellion is a surface level distraction
And lower down there is an unfillable ache
A longing for union
And a celebration for all of this
And it is so BIG it feels like it could splinter me into a new constellation.
Sit across from me and I will be precise with you.
But when it comes to me being seen?
Good God.
My prayer is that I keep giving up this ghost.
So I can come home
And invite you in
To see that it is not so painful after all - to be here.
You just need to get used to the fact
That everything is a mystery
And nothing is meant to stay.
- writings from my Rebel