08/21/2026
I'm doing it. I'm taking my next journey with ayahuasca.
I truly believe in the power of plant medicine.
When I met her for the first time in October 2019, I went straight to the source. We went deep into the jungle, to a small camp on the north bank of the MaraΓ±Γ³n River, just south of Iquitos. A two-hour tuk-tuk ride, a thirty minute hike through the jungle, and my question was simple:
What is my life's purpose?
Two weeks. Four ceremonies. Still no answer.
It wasn't until six months later that my gifts from childhood started unfolding again. The feeling of presence. The unknown heaviness that used to live in my closet. The nights that used to leave me terrified, but this time felt familiar. I started tapping into that space and realized my gifts were actually the beginning of my purpose in mediumship.
This time, I'm heading to a center in Maine, one a trusted friend has returned to nearly every year since I told him about Peru. But my intention is different now.
I already know my purpose.
"What I'm carrying now is shame."
I've been hiding. Scared. Choosing to suffer. Still that little child hiding behind the sofa, trying to stay out of the crossfire of anger, disappointment, betrayal, chaos.
This time, I've asked ayahuasca to show me why I've been submitting to this pain. Whose shame am I actually carrying? What shame keeps me from accepting love, accepting help, asking for the support that keeps my body feeling unsafe?
Plant medicine isn't for everyone. But for those connected to this world, when it's time to reconnect with her, you'll know. She called me home.
And as much as I'd love to go back to Peru, I also want this journey to show others that ayahuasca isn't as far from home as they think.
For the next two weeks, I'm preparing. Setting my intention. Cleansing my body and spirit so she can fully enter and show me whatever needs to be shown.
I surrender to Aya.
Reflections to come.