09/01/2026
Did you know drama creates an ‘addiction’ pattern in the brain? We get a high off of it, that’s why we want to gossip to 324 different people about the same story…why we keep bringing it up…why we “can’t” let things go… why we continue to engage in drama even though we know it steals our peace.
It takes a conscious choice to stop this pattern.
I’m not saying you can’t talk about your problems or have people you confide in, having a circle of people is important.
I’m saying be mindful and intentional -
Understand why you want to talk about it in the first place… do you need someone to hold space while you vent or cry or talk it out? Do you need solutions? Do you want support?
(Or do you want someone to match your energy and get upset with you and amplify your dysregulation?)
Validation as support and validation as fuel are two different things…
(read that again👆)
Those are two different energies that will guide your next moments and determine how fast, or slow, you can move through a problem and get to the other side.
Consider the ripples effects of each.
Then make conscious choices about who you talk to, how many people you tell the same story to, and what you’re getting out of it.
A big clue if you’re talking is productive or not… if you walk away with nothing except the urge to talk to another person, you’re just spinning the addiction pattern and the stories, drama, and/or gossip.
If talking isn’t helping, even with intention conversations, that’s a clue you could use some energy work/support to help you remove the ‘stuck points’ and get past it.
Do you find yourself getting sucked into this pattern? I used to! All the time. I still have to consciously pause at times because that old patterning nudges me to revert back and call people when big things happen.
I think majority of us grew up with it as normal and familiar…a way to be connected to other people.
But trauma bonding a drama gossiping aren’t the only way.
There is a pathway to have rich and deep connections and friendships that don’t have to revolve around energies that create high stress responses in the body that steal your peace and your quality of life. 😉🫶
(For those who like to understand a little more about the energy behind drama and gossip - as you loop it over and over with different people, the layers of energy stack and amplify. You anchor the story in deeper so it can be harder to uproot and let go of, the emotions amplify and feel bigger or more intense and impact your physical body more which means more places to have to release it from, you take on the other people’s emotions, thoughts, beliefs, opinions, judgements, biases, etc. which makes it harder to discern what is actually yours, what you want, and how to resolve it.
So being mindful and intentional about your conversations isn’t just because it sounds nice or more mature - it’s to allow you to unwind things easier instead of creating a big knot of tangled energy. It allows you to move freer.
You also need to be mindful about the people you’re looping in, because it affects them too…their body, brain, and chemistry will react and can anchor in your stories, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, biases, judgements, opinions, projections, etc.), if they have a story that resonates it can deepen those and make it harder to release later.
And if the discussion involves another person, all of that energy will also affect their field, put energy in there - the stories, judgements, biases, beliefs, opinions, projections, etc. which they’re unaware of and can even create psychic attacks in their system.
Energy is complex! 😮💨 We run around oblivious to the ripple effects of what we say and do, and we could be digging ourselves, and/or other people, a hole that makes it very difficult to get out of. So, let’s be mindful and make intentional choices based in integrity 😉)
But don’t worry, even though it sounds like “a lot,” if you’re tangled up, it can be quite simple to unwind it when you have someone who can see it and guide it. (thankfully, right?! 🙌🏼🎉) I’m here if you need help. ✨
