06/27/2026
Post #2 (because words matter)
The absence of one type of abuse doesn't minimize the experience of another type of abuse. Abuse is abuse. And it has lasting effects that not only impact the individual, but also seep into all aspects of their life - work, education and relationships. It looks differently for everyone, but can include: anxiety, confusion, insecurity, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, indecisiveness, nightmares, insomnia, panic attacks, unhealthy coping (ie substances, affairs, excessive work), sleeping too much, withdrawn, checked out, isolation, chronic pain, confusing physical symptoms that providers cannot explain, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
When an individual is trying to assess whether or not they have suffered abuse, or are currently in an abusive relationship, they often compare their own experiences to other people's experiences. Too often, they conclude their abuse wasn't actually abuse because to them, it doesn't compare to "how bad" someone else's was. The truth is, those who have been through chronic abuse develop a level of tolerance to the abuse. This allows them to survive and endure, but it also distorts their view of how "bad" it was, because they were able to survive and endure. Whereas when they view someone else's abuse, it may seem way worse, because it is different than what they have survived, and they haven't developed a tolerance to it.
If you have been through abuse or you are still in an abusive relationship and you are suffering the effects (maybe even decades after escaping the abuse), there is hope! You do not have to continue to suffer. There are many effective therapies that help heal the effects of trauma:
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Trauma Resilience Model (TRM)
Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR)
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
HeartMath Biofeedback (HM)
Nature Therapy (NT) See less
There is always hope for healing!!
