08/31/2026
❤️ FROM MY HEART TO YOURS — When Sleep Doesn't Come
I have struggled with sleep for most of my life.
Some of this, I believe, goes back to long-term stress and trauma during childhood. And some of it, I will readily admit, has simply been poor sleep habits!
Over the years, I've tried many of the things we're told are "good" sleep habits. Some have worked for me. Some haven't.
And that's something I think we sometimes forget:
We are all different.
Our nervous systems are unique. When your nervous system has spent a long time in fight-or-flight, it can become accustomed to being on alert—even when there is no immediate danger.
Remember, your nervous system is doing what it was designed to do: protect you.
Our job is to begin helping it recognize when it is safe to settle.
Over the years, I've tried many approaches. I've had hormone testing through what's called a DUTCH test and taken supplements recommended based on those results. I've worked on getting to bed at a regular time. I've changed routines. I've listened to experts and learned about sleep and the brain.
Some things helped for a while.
But there were still many nights when my body was tired and my brain was stuck in overdrive.
I'd lie there thinking and thinking and thinking...
Why did I say that today?
Should I have done something differently?
What do I need to do tomorrow?
And then there was the anxiety.
At times, especially after my mom transitioned, I would wake during the night with anxiety that sometimes became actual panic.
And, of course, once you're awake, another thought can quickly join the others:
"I HAVE to get back to sleep!"
Then you start worrying about how little sleep you're getting and how terrible you're going to feel tomorrow.
One thing I learned from Dr. Caroline Leaf really stayed with me. She teaches that the fear and anxiety about not sleeping can actually be more harmful to our brain and body than the lack of sleep itself.
That was profound for me.
Because suddenly I began to see the mind-body connection happening right there in the middle of the night.
I'm awake.
My mind says, "Oh no, I'm not sleeping."
That thought creates anxiety.
My body responds to the anxiety.
My nervous system becomes more alert.
And now I'm trying desperately to sleep while my body is receiving signals that it needs to stay alert!
Understanding that began changing the way I approached those nights.
Instead of becoming frightened or frustrated because I wasn't sleeping, I began learning relaxation techniques and ways of helping my mind and body settle.
It didn't happen overnight. And I certainly don't sleep perfectly now.
But I've learned something important along the way:
Sometimes we need to stop fighting our nervous system and begin working WITH it.
Think about everything you have experienced throughout your life. Your nervous system may have learned protective patterns during times when you genuinely needed them.
Those patterns don't always disappear simply because life becomes safer.
So yes—educate yourself.
Listen to the experts.
Practice healthy sleep habits.
Try different approaches and pay attention to what actually helps your mind and body.
And seek professional help when you feel you need it.
But please don't compare yourself with someone who says, "Just do this and you'll sleep eight hours every night!"
What settles one person's nervous system may not settle yours.
Over the years, I've found several relaxation techniques that have helped me personally. If you'd like to know what has worked for me, you're welcome to message me. Maybe I'll make that another From My Heart to Yours post.
And finally, remember how uniquely you were created:
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
Psalm 139:14
Tonight, if sleep doesn't come as easily as you'd like, perhaps instead of immediately worrying about it, remind yourself:
"Right now, I am safe. I don't have to force myself to sleep. I can simply allow myself to rest."
Sometimes learning to rest comes before learning to sleep. ❤️
Gloria Boone, BC-HHP, CECP, CLC
This post shares my personal journey and wellness education. It is not medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a qualified healthcare professional for your individual needs.
