11/08/2026
A few things have been popping up online recently around postnatal mental health, and they've brought back a lot of thoughts and feelings about my own experience with postnatal depression.
We hear about the baby blues a lot. They're very common after having a baby and, for most people, pass relatively quickly.
But I sometimes wonder whether that familiarity means we're too quick to put everything down to "just the baby blues", when sometimes there's something much deeper going on.
Then there's postpartum psychosis – something I never hear being spoken about. It still feels incredibly taboo. I've never experienced postpartum psychosis, so I can't speak about what that feels like, but I do think we need to be able to talk about all aspects of postnatal mental health without shame or judgement.
What I can talk about is my postnatal depression, because I experienced it after all three of my children.
With my youngest, on the surface everything probably looked normal. There were photos, cuddles, smiles and posts about how much I loved him.
But if people had really listened when I said I was struggling, they would have heard a very different story.
I remember looking at him and sometimes just feeling... empty.
He cried so much with me, yet would often settle with his dad. My mind started creating its own narrative – he doesn't like me, we don't have a bond, he's here making my life harder. I even remember thinking, why are you here?
And yet at the same time, I was really protective of him. If his dad took him downstairs for the night so I could sleep, I'd sneak down and bring him back because my mind told me something might happen to him if he wasn't with me.
And that's the part I don't think we talk about enough.
Postnatal depression wasn't simply me being sad. It affected the way I thought.
And when I tried to say I was struggling, I didn't really need someone to tell me, "You'll be okay" or "I'll take the baby for half an hour."
I needed someone to sit with me, to listen without judgement. To let me unload. To help me make sense of thoughts that I couldn't make sense of myself.
So if a new parent tells you they're struggling, even if their Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook looks picture perfect, listen to what they're actually telling you.
Don't assume it's just the baby blues. Don't immediately try to fix it or brush it off with reassurance.
Sometimes just taking that time to really listen can be incredibly important.
And the hopeful part of my story?
That little boy I struggled so much to bond with is now my absolute best friend. 💜 Our bond is incredible, and we're ridiculously close.
Those feelings weren't forever.
Postnatal mental health needs more conversations, less shame and a lot more listening. 💜✨
