09/06/2026
Home
A word that isn’t so much about a building but a feeling. As my toes first touch the water I feel my entire body take a deep breath and release a wave of tension. This lake where I spent my summer days as a child. Where my mother took me for early morning (and I mean early) swimming lessons and I would emerge shivering with cold and blue lips clamoring for the towel she held out.
As I became an adept swimmer, I would ride my bike to the lake and spend the day there with the other kids from the neighborhood. Eventually the crew shifting to one house or another for which mom would feed us or running out to the road when we heard the ice cream truck jingle. I just had to be home by dinner.
It was a place of magic. Of catching minnows, of dock games, and excursions to the turtle tree. As I got older it was teen floats and swims and an occasional night time adventure to sneak into the patrolled park to skinny dip or just feel the thrill of sneaking.
It was a place of fun, adventure and freedom. It was also a place of solace when the world didn’t feel safe.
My childhood house is no longer in our family. Sold after my mother died. Returning to the area to visit family a priority was to get to the lake. A hundred memories run through my mind. My joy, my children’s joy when I brought them. Tears fill my eyes as I wonder if one day I might hold the hand of a grandchild as they dip their toes in these sacred waters.
I thank the water for all its gifts. For how it has given me and countless others so much.
After chatting with my sister, I paddle out into the water and float over the sandbar. A turtle peaks it head up near me and darts back down. The light dances across the gentle waves. I lay back and let my hands rest in the cool water. I notice the ease that has come over my body. I think about the 50+ years this lake has welcomed my exuberance, my laughter, my tears. My youth, my marriage, my mothering, my divorce, my full heart and my heart break. I realize home isn’t necessarily a house, but the place where I feel held by something familiar, a place that has been the most consistent witness to my becoming and unfolding. Tears roll off my cheeks and a soft smile forms. In these waters I am home and I dive in.
