02/08/2026
Cognitive coaching is the arena of supporting others in reaching their highest potential, and I've ALWAYS been very passionate about it.
I've been so blessed to work with and learn from thousands of people from 5 to 105 my entire adult life in this capacity. And sometimes, when I'm working with people who want to grow their abilities, the conversations are so great that I like to write about them and share the nuggets of truth that emerge.
There are so many methods that can be used to help others who seek living and loving their best life each and every day. It is always an honor to sit and visit with those who cross my path by either chance or design who want to improve their ability to love others and themselves in a way that elevates both their personal or professional life and the lives they touch around them.
When someone turns inward to self-reflect and adjust accordingly through metacognitive practices and then takes action to grow in ways that don't harm themselves or others, they immediately start to create a space for joy, peace, producticity and fulfillment.
Life will always throw us curveballs we weren't expecting, but changing how we catch them can make all the difference in the world.
I'm often asked what I think holds people back from being able to live their best life and I find that I return to the same answer again and again, cognitive dissonance.
That's the fact that one can hold two or more contradictory beliefs at the same time. For example, knowing that smoking can harm the body, but doing it anyway. Another is outwardly fighting for one principle or value, then actively doing the opposite in private life. A third might be making a huge decision or taking action on something that you know violates your personal moral code and then justifying the decision or action by adding new, deeper or more elaborate beliefs to escape the consequences of that cognitive dissonance.
Not single person can escape the need for self-reflection, self-correction or growth as these things are the very essence of being alive and working towards LIVING and loving our best life.
Statistically speaking in a scientific way, it's practically magic that our existence occurs at all. So why wouldn't we make the most of every second of this miracle we call life? To do any less seems tragic. Human history has shown us that when mind, body and soul agree, you WILL experience the life you love.
Do any of these apply in your life? If so, reach out. I'd love to talk no matter what stage of life you're in or perform at.
As they say, if not now, when? If not you, who? Nothing in life changes, until you do.
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We desperately want to be seen and understood… while constantly hiding who we really are.
We crave connection, yet perform.
We want honesty, yet punish those who express it.
We want peace, yet stay loyal to chaos because it feels familiar.
We want freedom, yet cling to the very stories, fears, and identities that cage us.
Another sharp irony:
Humans fear change, but complain endlessly about staying the same.
We pray for growth, then resist or refuse to engage in the discomfort it requires.
We want healing, but avoid the silence where it happens.
We want love, but test it instead of trusting it.
And maybe the quietest irony of all:
We’re terrified of being alone, yet we abandon ourselves first.
Still—this irony is also our hope.
The moment someone notices the contradiction, they can CHOOSE differently. Awareness is the hinge everything swings on.
And the fact that we're talking about these observations? That’s awareness doing its job.
~TVB, M.Ed., CcHT
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