11/01/2026
I am grateful for my best friend, my roommate, my emergency contact, my partner in this very beautiful and difficult life, and my husband.
What research since 1938 says about love, and what my marriage has taught me
The Harvard Study of Adult Development has followed people’s lives since 1938. Its clearest finding is that the quality of our close relationships predicts happiness and health more strongly than wealth, fame, or career success. People who were most satisfied in their relationships at 50 were the healthiest at 80.
Dr. John Gottman’s research adds that lasting couples aren’t the ones who never struggle. They’re the ones who keep “turning toward” each other in small, everyday moments: a shared look, a question, a laugh. Couples who stayed together did this about 86% of the time. Couples who later divorced did it about 33% of the time.
As a therapist, I teach this. As a wife, I live it. And let me tell you, teaching is much easier than living, and the work is worth it.
Happy anniversary, Adriel Arenas . Three years is a short time on paper, yet we’ve walked through enough together that it feels like so much longer. Thank you for turning toward me in the ordinary moments, the hard ones, and every season in between. I’m deeply grateful for the life we’re building, and for all the years still ahead of us. ❤️
❤️ 💝🤍