The Happiness Project

10/12/2026

We need to learn the difference between responsibility and guilt.

We so often feel guilt and shame for very human reactions. Being angry or judgmental can lead us to feeling very guilty. We also feel guilty or like we're not good enough if we haven't evolved beyond having negative thoughts or emotions.

It is human to have negative thoughts and emotions. We should not feel shameful.

And yet... we are responsible for learning to respond in better ways. We are responsible for growing emotionally, for healing wounds. We don't have to be at our ideal yet. We can simply be on the journey to get there.

Example: if you feel irrationally jealous, you don't have to hate yourself or believe that you are a bad person. You can acknowledge that a wound is coming up and that it is an option on your journey to work on healing that wound. This is how to be kind to yourself while taking responsibility.

I don't believe that beating ourself up aids in healing and growth. From what I've seen in my years as a therapist, this is the path: kindness to self and responsibility for our own healing is what grows us and leads to a happier life.

10/05/2026

You could perform for people who are not going to love you anyway, or you could be you and let your people find you.

09/28/2026

While wellness coaches might be an extremely useful resource for some people, there are some concerning trends to be aware of.

Is United Healthcare Replacing Therapists With Coaches? 7 Reasons We Should ALL Be Concerned by Barbara Griswold, LMFT | Sep 15, 2026 | All Articles, For In-Network Therapists, For Out-of-Network Therapists, General Billing Issues, General Practice   Health plans are increasingly steering members w...

09/23/2026

Life is a series of going through hard things, then being okay. We get to choose whether to spend our time fearing the next hard thing, or looking forward to bouncing back and returning to our good life.

09/21/2026

From what I've seen, it's common for people to compare their pain to others, to decide whether theirs is worthy or the other person's is worthy.

I think a far more helpful question is whether we can give ourselves kindness in response to our own pain. This is harder and more complicated to do, and yet points the way toward true healing.

What I find overall is that the more we can INTERNALIZE self-compassion, the more we heal. This also means that we will be kinder to others as our wounds become less painful. This is not coddling or justification.

You can bring this to your own therapist or explore it using mindfulness or self-compassion practices. I write more in the self compassion chapter of Therapeutic Mindfulness.

May you become increasingly more healed, whole and loving.

09/14/2026

I sometimes refer to what I do as a therapist as "reducing the fear." One of my favorite exercises for life decisions is to start by imagining that there was no fear around a situation. If there was no fear, would the decision you're making feel correct?

This question helps guide us on whether we are following our deeper intuition to create our best life or whether we are following fear to create a fear-based life. (If you are following the fear-based decision and cannot change this, therapy can help.)

I hope you are creating your best life.

09/11/2026

It's likely you have love in your life.
Do you accept it?

09/07/2026

What are some ways to dissolve fear?

I'm thinking:

Development of a spiritual life
Gratitude or Joy practice
Shadow Work
Inner Compassion work

My book, Therapeutic Mindfulness, and other emotional processing therapies help with the last two options.

I wonder what other ideas people have?

08/31/2026

The world is enriched when we share our individual gifts without fear.

08/25/2026

We are not meant to be an island. We are not meant to do life alone.
Support is not for sick people.
Support is for people.