05/09/2024
Before you add someone to your birth team, here are three important questions to ask yourself to find out if they're really up for the job!
1) WHAT'S THEIR JOB?
Why is this person there? What is their role? Is it to help you remember breathing techniques, help you communicate with the staff, support your partner?
Be specific! Remember, your birth isn't a spectator event. Labour can even slow down if you feel there are too many people watching you. If they don't have a specific job, or they're just there to see a baby be born, reconsider having them there.
You aren't obligated to allow anyone at your birth, even if they're family, your best friend, or anyone else. Remember, your team is there to support you- not because they're excited to see your baby be born!
2) ARE YOU COMFORTABLE?
During labour, you'll likely feel a range of emotions from joy and excitement to despair and frustration. You'll probably feel vulnerable and maybe a little overwhelmed at times.
Do you feel safe to experience intense emotions around this person? How do they react when you are upset, anxious, or frustrated? Do they help, or do they make you feel worse?
Emotional distractions can stall your labor, so make sure you feel comfortable with everyone that is in your space.
3) ARE THEY UP TO IT?
How will this person react to the realities of birth? Can they handle seeing birth up close (possibly including blood, fluids, and noises)? Are they able to stay supportive to you even if your labor is long? Are they able to stay calm and rational if complications arise? If you have a birth plan, do you feel confident that they support it?
Your support team needs to be prepared to see you in discomfort or pain and stay objective when things get intense. This means they'll need healthy coping tools of their own.
Empowered Birth: Educator, Birth Doula and Counsellor http://www.empoweredbirth.co.nz
